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Reprinted with permission from:
National Network for Child Care – NNCC
1994 Child assault prevention project
Written by:
Belinda Meyn
Coordinator of Child Assault Prevention Project
A Woman's Fund, Urbana, Illinois
The subject of child abuse prevention can be very confusing.
Many parents would like to talk to their children about preventing
abuse but are often concerned that they may say the "wrong
thing" or that a discussion of this type could stir up
excessive fears and anxieties for their children. Unfortunately,
an adult's lack of knowledge about how to teach and reinforce
prevention information and skills may leave children vulnerable
to abuse.
Child abuse is a very serious problem in every
community nationwide. It is estimated that 100,000-500,000
children are sexually abused each year. Studies show that
1 out of 3 girls and 1 out of 6 boys (Russell, 1988) are sexually
abused by age 18 years. In 1991, 838 children died as a result
of physical abuse by a parent (Daro & McCurdy, 1992).
Child abuse knows no boundaries. It happens
in every class, race, ethnic group, educational, and economic
group. No family is immune.
The good news is that there is much that parents
and other caring adults can do to channel fear and anger into
action. Parents play an important role in the monumental task
of preventing child abuse, in keeping our children safe, and
in providing support and advocacy for children who are victimized.
Child abuse prevention is an important safety
issue. We teach our children safety skills for other areas
of life such as fire and road safety. Abuse prevention can
be approached in much the same way.
FOCUS ON WHAT THE CHILD CAN DO.
Sexual assault prevention information for women and children
has traditionally focused on what not to do. This has meant
that potential victims of assault often feel helpless in a
dangerous situation. Children can follow all of the "don't"
messages and still find themselves being threatened. Not knowing
what to do may make them more frightened and leave them with
feelings of guilt after assault occurs.
Keeping the focus on what a child can do also
prevents an adult from unnecessarily scaring a child. The
discussion need not include graphic and horrible descriptions
of what "some people" try to do to children. Instead,
by learning real strategies for preventing abuse and assault,
children can come to feel capable and independent rather than
defenseless.
BELIEVE IN YOUR CHILD'S ABILITIES.
Self-confidence is ninety percent of prevention. When children
believe they cannot prevent an assault, they probably won't
even try. Parents and other caring adults can frequently review
the prevention skills and reinforce children's confidence
by giving them a "you can do it" message.
The warnings we were given as children (such
as not to take candy from strangers or not to get into a car
with someone you don't know) are not enough to protect children
from the reality of abuse. Eighty percent of child victims
are abused by someone that they know: a family member, neighbor,
teacher, coach, baby sitter, or leader of a church youth group.
Children need to be prepared. Adults need to overcome their
hesitations and speak directly to their children about ways
to protect themselves from all abuse.
FIND THE RIGHT TIME.
Parents and child care providers don't have to call a big
family or group meeting to talk about abuse prevention. Children
as young as two years can be told that they shouldn't keep
secrets from their parents.
Television shows, a family trip, or a group
program on child abuse (such as CAPP) can provide an opportunity
to discuss prevention. Explain to your child that sometimes
children are hurt, even by people that they know, and that
keeping that a secret may prevent that child from getting
the help and the support that they need and have the right
to expect from adults.
TEACH YOUR CHILD TO SAY NO.
Children should be told that no one has the right to touch
their bodies in ways that hurt, frighten, or confuse them
(especially if a child is told or threatened "not to
tell"). Direct information from parents about parts of
the body can help distinguish between safe and unsafe touching.
It is an important component of prevention that children are
taught that they have the right to refuse any kind of touching,
sexual or non-sexual.
Explore the difference between appropriate rules
and expectations within the family and school and unreasonable
demands made by an exploitative adult or another child. Parents
may fear that teaching children to say "no" to threatening
adults may encourage them to defy any adult authority, especially
their parents. This is hardly ever true. Children need to
understand, through clear and positive statements, that when
they feel threatened they have parental permission and encouragement
to stand up for themselves.
KEEP LINES OF COMMUNICATION OPEN.
Tell the child that you are willing and able to hear anything
they might want to talk about, no matter how embarrassing
or scary the subject might be.
CAPP is a national and international program
that began in 1978 in Columbus, Ohio. The goal of the program
is to teach children from kindergarten through fifth grade
skills and strategies that will help them recognize and diffuse
potentially dangerous situations. The program also has components
for preschoolers, teenagers, and children with disabilities.
CAPP offers a classroom opportunity for children to explore
their right to be SAFE, STRONG, AND FREE. We teach and model
skills of self-assertiveness, peer support, and accessing
adult support and in-school resources.
REFERENCES
Daro, D., & McCurdy, K. (1992). *Current Trends in Child
Abuse Reporting and Fatalities: The Results of the 1991 Annual
Fifty-State Survey*. The National Center on Child Abuse Prevention
Research.
Russell, D. E. H. (1988). The incidence and
prevalence of intrafamilial and extrafamilial sexual abuse
of female children. In L. E. A. Walker (Ed.), *Handbook on
Sexual Abuse of Children*. Springer Publishing Company.
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES
Finklehor, D. (1986). *Sourcebook on Child Abuse*. Beverly
Hills: Sage Publications.
Miller, A. (1983). *For Your Own Good: Hidden
Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence*. New York:
Farrar, Straus.
Sanford, L. (1980). *The Silent Children: A
Parent's Guide to the Prevention of Child Sexual Abuse*. New
York: McGraw Hill.
Sanford, L. (1990). *Strong at the Broken Places*.
New York: Random House.
Rush, F. (1980). *The Best-Kept Secret: Sexual
Abuse of Children*. Englewood Cliffs: Prentice Hall.
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